Hi David, sorry for the late reply on your requested feedback! If you have any questions or want to discuss further, we can do so here, or via DM.

This was an enjoyable story, and well written. I did not find myself tripping over any sentences and nothing sounded clunky. For the Lunar Awards, I don't get many submissions that are filled with alien species that are as multi-faceted as the Nilax. It felt like a universe akin to Star Wars, where the possibilities are endless with regards to race and culture. I thought the three-parent concept was interesting, but it did leave me questioning the dynamic. If you were going to write something longer, I would want to know how that works in deeper detail, else it doesn't necessarily serve a short story. It's possible you could use it as a plot device, demonstrating how it's different enough that it causes friction with the other inhabitants with only two parents. Overall, the series of events was well executed.

One thing that I felt needed improvement was that the stakes weren't high enough. You did great from the outset where one of the parents loses a job, but the consequences fizzle a bit. The parents don't appear afraid. Are they on the verge of losing a home, or worse, and how are they viewed in accordance with the surrounding community for their poor position? Can you show that somehow through Tanax? Making Tanax the sole provider as the child could be a great way to build tension. She is basically their last hope, and without her new job and income something terrible could happen. It's possible one of the parents puts a lot of stress on her to "save" the family. This leads into her dilemma with the tourist.

One last thing regarding the tourist's proposal, is that he is a little too likable. Tanax should be shown to be uncomfortable, almost a little nauseated by his forwardness. That way her revulsion could be shown in contrast to what's being suggested, which is enticing due to the payment offered. She must choose between two wider extremes.

I hope this is helpful for you, and I look forward to more submissions. Best of luck!

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This is great feedback. Thank you!

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