Destitution: Nilara [IICL, Ep. 2]
Destitution: Nilara [IICL, Ep. 2]
An Interstellar Industries Cruise Line Experience
The Interstellar Industries Cruise Lines travel to all the most luxurious planetary ports in the galaxy. Below decks and behind doors, though, it is not always the shining jewel the advertising would have you believe. Click here to read more or start from the beginning.
Tanax placed her shining Interstellar Industries Luxury Resort name badge on her new uniform. She put her blue crystal hair up in a waterfall from the top of her head. The blue highlights matched her eyes. It was the first day of her future. Most Nilax in the tourist zones were shopkeepers, or tour guides, spending their days begging for Nilaxian beads or Galactic Credits, and their nights huddled in sparse shacks or modified cave-houses. Interstellar Industries liked to boast that they had brought culture and prosperity to the less developed worlds, but all they really brought was the realization that the local cultures were lagging behind. It turned their worlds into windows, with the natives on the outside of the opulence. But she had opened that window and was stepping through it. Today, she was a dancer at the tourist resort, with Interstellar Industries paychecks on the way. Next year, or the year after, she would be travelling away from Nilara, dancing across the stars to find her place in that society, and later, she would be able to bring all three of her parents, Mom, Tut, and Dad, out there with her.
“What do you mean you lost your position?” Mom’s high voice rang clearly through the thin wall.
“Keep your voice down, Salva,” chastised Tut from outside Tanax’s bedroom door. “Tanax doesn’t need to worry about things like this on her first day.”
“Evis, I did nothing wrong.” Dad’s voice was lower, harder to make out, but Tanax had had practice. “They cancelled the Singing Crystal Caves’s tour contract. They said they had bad reviews. With no tours, there’s no need for tour guides.”
“Of course they had bad reviews with every tourist taking a crystal home for themselves!” Tut always seemed to be the voice of reason in their home.
“Of course you did nothing wrong. I’ve always said you were the best tour guide they had.” There was a moment of silence. Mom gave the best hugs. “You’ll find something else. There are always more cruise ship tourists.”
Tanax decided this would be a good moment to make her entrance. “Star shine, parents,” she called out as she opened her door. Dad was sitting at the table, his twin green plumes of hair unbrushed and tangled, a clear sign that he was stressed. Tut was doing dishes, her cloud of translucent, crystal white hair bobbing around her as she moved. Mom swept her up in a hug, her work leathers rough. Mom had to pick the carnivorous fruit before she could sell it at the stand. Her blue hair was still down, so she wasn’t leaving yet.
“You were listening again, weren’t you?” whispered Mom in her ear. Mom always knew.
“Salva, don’t keep her all to yourself.” Dad was on his feet, putting on a brave face.
Mom hugged her all the tighter. “Go find your own sweet daughter to hug, Stru. This one’s all mine.”
“You hear that, Evis? Salva isn’t going to share.”
“Salva, play nice. Tanax is all our daughter.” Tut joined in on the family hug, and Tanax, in the center, felt warm and safe.
“Well today, I belong to Interstellar Industries Luxury Resort, and if you three don’t let me go, I’ll be late!”
Fortunately, she still had a few minutes to take her breakfast, give kisses all around, and pick up her bag for the long ride to the resort. Few Nilax could afford to actually live anywhere close to the resort. She ate her breakfast on the way, as Nilax traditionally did, and thought of Dad’s unwelcome announcement. Mom and Tut both had employment, in a tourist restaurant and a roadside fruit stand, but Dad’s tour guide money was a significant portion of the family’s income.
By the time she reached the resort, she had pushed the matter to the dark valleys of her mind, and climbed to the hilltops for her first day of work. Her welcome and orientation were hurried. Food was available, but not to take with her. For some reason, the tourists preferred to let their food sit out on tables before eating it. Stealing would get her fired. ‘Dallying’ with the tourists would get her fired. Making guests unhappy would get her fired. Her job was to perform as a dancer, teach Nilaxian dancing to the tourists, and make tourists smile. Doing anything else, it seemed, would get her fired. She was not to ask for tips, but tipping was encouraged, and she would keep any tips she got. Some, it was said, made more from their tips than their actual pay.
Her first performance was in the Crystal Room of the resort. They weren’t real Singing Crystals, of course, the sound would interfere with performances, and they couldn’t grow in a building like this naturally, but it was beautifully reminiscent of the grand caves. She watched from the edge as the room slowly filled with curious and smiling tourists from a variety of worlds. Her first dance was a popular, modern Nilaxian number with lots of energy. The next was a traditional dance of her people, slow and sensual. The set would end with a Nilaxian dance set to a modern galactic song that would be familiar to the tourists. The lights went down, and all but the first row was lost to the darkness. She stepped into the light and began to dance. She could feel the flutter of nervous lightwings in her abdomen. Mom said to pick a single face and dance just for them to make the lightwings vanish. In the center of the front row, she found a handsome, friendly face, probably Human or Denovian, she guessed. She danced for him. She threw the energy into his smiling face. She poured the sensuality into his lap. She moved her body to the music in his eyes.
The lights brightened on resounding applause, and she smiled to the crowd, pleased and relieved that her first performance was done. She posed for happy photographs with the tourists and wrote her name for them. Some gave her tips. The largest tip came from the friendly face in the front row, along with a firm hug.
“You were marvelous,” he said. “When do you perform again? I don’t want to miss a show.”
“Thank you.” She blushed. “It’s not a performance exactly, but I have a dance class this afternoon. The next show will be tomorrow.”
“Even better. I’d love to learn that second dance you did. See you there.”
She waited until the tourists had all gone and took a deep breath. She was really doing it. With a little free time before her next event, she found her way to the resort’s food hall. Meals were provided on site for the employees, but she had not expected the seemingly endless array of foods on display. She felt guilty eating in such abundance when she knew Dad was at home, making a meager meal from the sparse contents of the family cabinets. There was so much food here, free for the taking, maybe she could put some in a bag to take home. The whole family could easily eat from this buffet without even emptying a single table. Then she noticed a sign posted beside the door. NO FOOD BEYOND THIS POINT. Her orientation came back to her. It would be foolish to risk her dreams on a single family meal. She finished her plate and tried not to think about home.
The dance class was in an open room with a wall of windows offering a gorgeous view of the ocean. The pink waves glinted in the afternoon light like diamonds tossed on a bed of blushing satin. She arrived early just to enjoy it. She shared the sight with the tourists as they arrived and began warming up for the dance class. She’d had to take special training to learn about how to stretch and move with various anatomies, as not all species were built the same. The friendly face entered as she stretched their legs.
She demonstrated the moves and then walked among the dancers, correcting posture, adjusting position, guiding steps. The friendly face had a natural talent, she noticed. When the class ended, she again posed for group photographs, this time in front of the oceanview windows, or in dance positions. She gratefully accepted the galactic credits slipped into her hands, some small, some generous. The friendly face again lingered until the others had gone.
“Great class. I learned a lot.”
“Thank you. It’s my first one.”
“Would you be interested in giving me a private lesson? Perhaps something more like the second dance you did earlier?”
Something in the weight of his words made it clear that he did not have only dancing on his mind. “I’m sorry, they’ve not given me any private lessons on my schedule. And it’s against the rules to be… private with guests.”
“They should add private lessons. They pay quite a bit more.” He pulled a string of Nilaxian beads from his pocket. “And I am certainly willing to pay for the privilege. More, knowing that we’d be bending the rules.”
Being paid in beads meant she wouldn’t lose anything to exchange rates for the credits. The string he held could feed her family for a full lunar cycle. His experienced eyes reflected the pink waves through the window. “You, ah, could take all my classes for free. I can try to give you extra notes, too. That wouldn’t be seen as private lessons.”
He smiled. It was still friendly, still kind. A second string of beads withdrew from his pocket. “Let me be a little more direct and honest. I enjoy experiencing a lot more than just the culture from the planets I visit. I want to experience you. And I am willing to compensate you for it. I know Interstellar Industries doesn’t offer the highest pay to locals, even if it might be more than what else is available.”
He held out two strings of beads, and her family and her future flashed through her mind.
“What do you say?
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Hi David, sorry for the late reply on your requested feedback! If you have any questions or want to discuss further, we can do so here, or via DM.
This was an enjoyable story, and well written. I did not find myself tripping over any sentences and nothing sounded clunky. For the Lunar Awards, I don't get many submissions that are filled with alien species that are as multi-faceted as the Nilax. It felt like a universe akin to Star Wars, where the possibilities are endless with regards to race and culture. I thought the three-parent concept was interesting, but it did leave me questioning the dynamic. If you were going to write something longer, I would want to know how that works in deeper detail, else it doesn't necessarily serve a short story. It's possible you could use it as a plot device, demonstrating how it's different enough that it causes friction with the other inhabitants with only two parents. Overall, the series of events was well executed.
One thing that I felt needed improvement was that the stakes weren't high enough. You did great from the outset where one of the parents loses a job, but the consequences fizzle a bit. The parents don't appear afraid. Are they on the verge of losing a home, or worse, and how are they viewed in accordance with the surrounding community for their poor position? Can you show that somehow through Tanax? Making Tanax the sole provider as the child could be a great way to build tension. She is basically their last hope, and without her new job and income something terrible could happen. It's possible one of the parents puts a lot of stress on her to "save" the family. This leads into her dilemma with the tourist.
One last thing regarding the tourist's proposal, is that he is a little too likable. Tanax should be shown to be uncomfortable, almost a little nauseated by his forwardness. That way her revulsion could be shown in contrast to what's being suggested, which is enticing due to the payment offered. She must choose between two wider extremes.
I hope this is helpful for you, and I look forward to more submissions. Best of luck!